The Profit Margins of Saving a Friendship

Navigating my first ever co-founder exit to save a friendship. I love you, @byizzyliu.

I accidentally co-founded Riverbed Collective in high school with Izzy, my best friend since the second grade. She did art, and I liked organising things, so when she wanted to create SPIKE ZINE, a collaborative art project, I was the natural choice for operations director.

Just like the imaginary world we shared as children.

At the beginning, things were fun. We did SPIKE ZINE as a fundraiser for Outright International, bringing on Akko to help manage the influx of artists who wanted to work with us. Next summer, the three of us reunited under Mint Condition, and realised that we’d need to be registered as a business—hence, accidentally co-founding an organisation.

(Mint Condition was a success, involving 93 artists from 20 countries and selling 497+ copies.)

However, the workload was getting heavier, and the mission fit wasn’t quite there—in other words, our aims for the organisation were diverging. Akko and I wanted more targeted growth, but Izzy didn’t enjoy the idea of scaling; she’s more of a go-with-the-flow type of person in this regard.

Over Christmas dinner, I felt the tension bleed into our personal time together, finding it more and more difficult to talk to her. I knew something had to change…

Around this time, I watched a YouTube video by Ben Altman, of the founders of the channel Charisma on Command, where he shares his falling out with his co-founder and former best friend; the story of how their friendship deteriorated over a decade as their business grew. I couldn’t bear the thought of becoming them.

Izzy isn’t someone who enjoys confrontation, so I sent her that exact YouTube video to start our conversation.

Standing in her doorway, I told her that I didn’t want that to happen to us. I addressed the growing discomfort. I told her how much I valued her, and that, if she didn’t enjoy the work, I’d rather let her go from the collective. I valued her friendship more than shackling her to a cause that she didn’t want to be part of.

And that was that. She agreed, and we’re simply close friends now.

I suppose that the actual way we resolved this seems quite simple on the surface, but the difficulties lie in the nitty-gritty of interpersonal communications. On my end, I had to make her feel comfortable enough. I couldn’t sound confrontational, despite my growing frustration. I had to remember that, at the end of the day, we wanted the best for each other. It’s not me against her. We’re on the same side.

(Also, realistically, having someone half-heartedly on our team would only slow operations.)

These days, things with Izzy are lovely—there’s no residual resentment; I keep her posted on Riverbed’s operations still—but the story is far from over. I’m still navigating business and friendship. Both of my associates right now started off as my friends.

I guess I’ll just have to keep you updated.

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